The majority of my life has been, in a single word, uneventful. Nothing was happening. I used to excel in academics and studies, in my Grade School, without exerting effort at all. All of that changed during high school. It was during this time that I learned more about myself, and how to understand others.
At my first year in Philippine Science High School, I was unable to excel. There was the sudden realization that there are a lot of people smarter than me in Math, Science, even English/Language. It was also during this time that I had taken to a group of friends. They were from the Ateneo – I was surprised that there were many of them in our batch – and they were not what I expected. I was expecting stereotypical nerds and jocks, like a stereotypical high school. My friends were, well, more jock than nerd. But that didn’t really matter. They taught me the basics of camaraderie, and I did enjoy time with them.
In second year, we went our own ways. This time, I had discovered new friends in my new section. I had a close friend who was from the Ateneo as well. He told me a lot of stories about his former school.
I was expecting the Ateneo to be more than just what my friend described to me. Everyone in his former school was relatively richer than his family was. He would be bullied by older students on the school bus and by his fellow batchmates as well. Of course, I had my share of bullies on the school bus and embarrassing experiences, but not to an extent such as his. And despite of the society that mocked him, of the culture that forced its definitions and limitations upon him, he still remained himself – there was still kindness in his heart. And it was this that drew me to him, and so our friendship started.
From that day on, I felt that whatever purpose I had in life was revealed to me. For me, my mission was to show people that they were cared for, and capable of producing kindness. I wanted to show that this world was unfair, uncaring and indifferent only because it was what they were told. This world is full of sadness because people were to be blind to everything else. These thoughts seemed to fill my life with a purpose, and I believed – not that I found out in the future that they were false or that they were simply naïve ideas of children; rather, I found out it was not easy to fulfill these purposes.
I had returned the kindness of my friend with kindness and concern in turn, and it made me happy as well. The second year contained many wonderful memories and experiences, and the “family” of sorts that we had carried over into the future. We were always closely knit together, more than just a barkada, more like an actual family.
Third year, however, was a most stressing time, and it was a bit sad as well. It was also the most memorable of the years I spent so far. It was during this time that I made a new friend from an acquaintance in second year. He was one of the smartest persons I knew, winning contests he was sent to, or at least getting recognitions for them. He was also very kind to me as well. He would try to teach me when I would not comprehend the lessons we were taking up. He would always have time to listen to me, although he was usually quite busy with his contests and requirements. In time, he became a special friend to me. He showed me that by understanding people, I could show them that they were cared for.
It was during these times that love grew in the hearts of people, and was expressed. I was surprised to see most of my friends asking their “special someone” to go to the prom with them. My best friend from last year was asking someone as well, even though he said that he would go stag (not go with anyone.) We were all surprised, yet we still helped him, and finally he got to pop the question. My story was different, though, and a bit sad.
One of my classmates in second year was my classmate again in third year. He was also from the Ateneo, and he had quite a reputation, both here and in the Ateneo. He was an outcast, a pariah of sorts, ostracized by the batch and ridiculed by his peers from the Ateneo, but still he felt at home with the rest of our group. I took it upon myself to try to console him and understand him. For a while, it worked. However, we had a misunderstanding, and it developed into a grudge.
Somehow, I had violated his feelings, and eventually he had a vendetta with me. He would attack what I say and hurl insults at me. Such acts did not disturb me much. However, he was also trying to ostracize me from our group. He brought with him a few handhelds and played games with most of my friends, making them spend more time with him than me. Eventually, he proceeded to physically attacking me with various “weapons.” He even attacked me during our Retreat, and it made me really depressed that night. My friends were there for me, however, and it turned out okay. Eventually we got him banned from the school after another attempt to hurt me.
In his absence, I realized how similar we were to each other. For instance, we both believed ourselves mature and understanding of others. Even our mannerisms were the same. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how similar we were to each other. Eventually, however, I made mistakes that sundered my life, and I regretted these things so much. I had promised myself that I would change, and not make these mistakes again.
Right now, I am in the fourth year, with my two best friends and the rest of our group, trying to change myself for the better so that I would not hurt my friends anymore. Adding this to the workload for the fourth year, and preparing for the UPCAT, the more difficult ACET and maybe even the SAT, I could see myself being stretched to the limit. It was a bit of relief when my “enemy” reconciled with me, and I really appreciate it. I will not back down, however. I will graduate and qualify for the Ateneo, and eventually fulfill the purpose of my life somehow with my job. Until that time, I am here. I will change. I will work hard for the future, so that it will be different from the past. This school, and the experiences I have had here, and the friends I have, has taught me more than limits of functions, or reaction rates and equilibrium expressions, or quantum physics, or epics and works of literature, or soccer and badminton, or marching in cadence, or even cramming. All of them – my school, my parents and teachers, my friends, and the experiences I have - taught me how to live this short life I have. I feel a bit content; knowing that I have touched a few lives – the friends closest to me – and made a mark on this world with the achievements I have made, even if they are only small.
Somewhere in my high school there is a plaque with my name on it. The competition it was commemorating wasn’t that big – a Social Science Quiz – but it is more than that. It shows that I existed, that I was here on this planet. And I will continue to exist, after I die, in the lives of the people that I have touched.