Songs of Innocence and Experience

This morning, while we were having brunch, the radio was on, playing OPM... and there was this song that really got to me.

it was about a group of friends in high school... barkada sila... during lunch break, they were always together in one corner of the cafeteria... One of them had a guitar, and when he/she played, the whole barkada would get singing... They had a happy time...

Then high school was over, and they were in college. They barely had time tp see each other again. Some of the others were already in far away places... concerned with getting jobs and making profits and such... that in the end, their barkada was no more...

I hope that doesn't happen to us... It won't... I won't let that happen...

If anyone could get me the title of that song, I'd really appreciate it...

Magkaibigan, magkaibigan...
Magkaibigan, walang iwanan...

In continuation of the recent tradition of "non-emo" posts, today's article is about Avatar: The Last Airbender.

For those who do not know what it is, go look it up on Wikipedia. It's not a simple mindless Western cartoon that has a generic Asian motif. Well, I'm not here to describe the series to you; you have Wiki for that.

Anyway, in the series, certain people are gifted with different kinetic abilities allowing them to manipulate one of the "elements" of their world: water, earth, fire and air. Now, given the choice, which element would you wish to manipulate?

Well, because this post is simply about my choice, I suppose I'll go discuss it already. I would choose water... and why? Well, here are some of the reasons:

• You can use it for water's various cleaning purposes. You can clean stuff, dry them afterward, separate water from polluted sources of it...
• You can "heal" people by messing around with the flow of water inside them. You could probably relieve hypertension with that.
• You'll almost never be thirsty again - you can make a drink out of sufficiently moist air. Or if stuck in a desert, just get water from cacti and anything else that's alive.
• It allows you to cook food well, making sure heat is evenly distributed inside your cooking pot/pan/whatever.
• Uhm... don't get me started on swimming...
• You are your own microwave oven.
• Contrary to popular belief, you can get water to manipulate anywhere... from the air, from yourself, from other living organisms... as long as you know there's water in something, you can manipulate it.
• You can make art, tools, anything solid you need with ice.
• You can travel via water, as long as you have the stamina to traverse seas and oceans.
• If you're strong enough, or if you have a lot of people with you, you can manipulate weather.
  

And there are also more creative uses for water, as well...

• You can forcibly vibrate water inside living things, making them blow up or burn due to the heat.
• You can manipulate the blood inside organisms, making them have strokes by preventing the blood from getting to the brain.
• You can freeze the blood and watch them die of hypothermia.
• You can forcibly dehydrate them and leave their bodies' proteins to denature.
  
• Or you can just make the water go out of every single hole and pore in their body.
• You can manipulate the air around you by moving the water suspended in it.
• You can manipulate earth by manipulating the water present in it.
• You can manipulate the bodies of the organisms themselves as though they were merely dolls of ice.
• You can make ice out of air/nothing, just like what Hohenheim was doing.
• Waterball mode, like a RO wizard/high wizard.
• You can make weapons out of ice (Law of Ueki mode...)
  

Water is capable of many things, more than just a whip or a trap of ice. It's like FMA actually. There's a curious thing about FMA. If people could transmute things as long as there is "equivalency", why don't they get themselves loaded with diamonds? They simply have to transmute carbon things into it... It's the simple revelations like that which spur creative uses of simple powers.

That's all for today, folks. Now, I'm not sure how the next one will go. I can't really think of anything. Oh well, back to emo posts again :)

In contrast to my usual "emo" posts, I will try to make a post about something else this time.

Today, we, or rather I, will talk about Heroes. (Potential spoiler alert.)

If you were to ask which ability I would prefer, I would state "time travel", which is Hiro's. Well, sure, you can't really use it to defeat enemies and such. While it would be advantageous to use such powers to change any undesirable past experiences we might have had, we are not supposed to do so, because as we all well know, screwing around with the past can have disastrous consequences.

I prefer said ability because such an ability would help me understand more about said undesirable experiences. Remember Dumbledore's Pensieve? It is easier to view events from such an angle because your mind isn't like a video camera that records everything that you've experienced completely. When viewed from another viewpoint, you can understand more what exactly you did or said that offended your friend, or something like that. You aren't allowed to change the past, but you can use it to change the future.

Also, I prefer Hiro as the main protagonist instead of Peter. I suppose the show tries to have human characters instead of invincible and inhuman ones. Then again, there are some characters who are just too human, like Peter. Being human isn't about having emotions, loving someone or sex. Being human is rising above yourself and your limitations, and overcoming difficulties due to the unique abilities and choices you make. It's being able to do the right thing, in spite of how hard it is. It's about choosing between what is right and what is easy.

Hiro figuratively cut out his heart and gave it to the dragon, because he knew he had to do so. It was the right thing. Peter on the other hand was all emo about his girlfriend so much that he let himself be played like a puppet by Kensei. Peter is like Marcus Brutus; brave, yes, and caring, but still undeniably stupid. Yes, sure, it was the fault of Cassius/Kensei, but such things wouldn't have happened if he wasn't that stupid. First of all, he trusted Kensei too much just because he did something good for him. Didn't it ever occur to him how Kensei knew there was a secret deadly virus strain somewhere, and it just happened to screw up the future? It was supposed to be secret. Didn't he ever bother to think how it could have leaked out? He's really, well, stupid and naive. Still, I suppose it is good that he cares a lot about the people he loves.

Now that Nathan's dead (oh no! what a spoiler!) I suppose Peter and Hiro would somehow end up fighting again. Peter would be kicking the Company's butt, I suppose. That's another flaw of his - the fact that he's too dependent on his brother all the time. Now that his brother's gone, I suppose Peter would go be stupid again. He's like Brutus; he loves, but he has no thoughts of his own. If he can be goaded to do something he believes is right, he would pursue it until he is proven wrong, or is dead. What a tragic hero.

That concludes this day's commentary. Next issue: bending disciplines (Avatar: The Last Airbender.)

I'm a bit sad, actually, because I miss you.

I miss you so much...

I have nothing to worry about, though. We'll see each other again, soon.
You'll always be there for me. All of you... will be there for me just in case...

I miss all of you so very much...

I miss Sampa... I wish we could finally have an outing before it's time... Outing or not, we are all still together, no matter what happens.

I miss Gluon... Gluon is such a nice class, because I would always feel welcome. We've been through many tough things together, and we appreciate each other more... We were the nobody section. We didn't dominate sports, or have a lot of DLs, or anything like that. We were a collection of, well, ewan. But we managed to succeed in tasks one after the other given to us. I am thankful to God, and to my classmates, for making this all possible...

I miss Sodium... While I may not really know all of you just as well, we are a class bound together. We may have our differences and so, but we have overcame them. I'm gonna miss you people...

I miss you, [someone]... I hope you come back, safe and sound... Hope you take care of yourself, and be happy wherever you are. Wherever you are, I know that at night, we would be under the same dark sky, looking at the same stars and moon. Well, yeah, you are that far away so that it's night there when it's day here... but, oh well. I hope you are successful in your endeavors over there.

And most of all, I miss you. I am lonely, but I am happy and content, because I know that wherever you are, you will always be there, caring for me. Thank you for everything. I look forward to seeing you again...

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good and hopefully cooler Night.

P.S. To all of those who tease me or my friend about me, please stop it. It's inconsiderate, immature and stupid. Just go bother someone else. Thank you.

Paskorus na!!! Go Gluon!!!

Zum zum Zum zum Zum zum Zum zum Zum zum Zum zum Zum zum Zum zum
Zum zum
Zum zum Zum zum
Zum zum
Zum zum Zum zum Zum zum Zum zum Zum zum
Zum zum
Zum zum
Zum~

Magsaya tayong kapatirang banal ipagdiwang lugod sa puso
Si Hesus natin Siyang tanging Maykapal lumuhod tayo sa harap niya
Magsimba tayo siyam na simbang gabi uwian ay bukang liwayway
Ang buong bayan ligid-ligiran mga tindaha't kakainan

La la la La la la La la la La la la La la la La la la La la la La la la
La la la
La la la La la la
La la la
La la la La la la La la la La la la La la la
La la la
La la la
La~

Ang durungawan puspos ng ilaw luntian at pula kulay na masaya
At ang pintuan pinagsabitan parol na tunay sa paskuhan
Ang maganda nating bihisan ay isuot kahit na minsan
At ang gintong hikaw at singsing ay linisin bago gamitin

Popopopom Popopopom Popopopom Popopopom Popopopom Popopopom Popopopom Popopopom
Popopopom
Popopopom Popopopom
Popopopom
Popopopom Popopopom Popopopom Popopopom Popopopom
Popopopom
Popopopom
Pom~

Mano po lolo mano po ninong ang sadya po sana'y mamasko
Kung wala ma'y salamat din po sa Tatlong Hari ng balik ko

Ding dong Ding dong Ding dong Ding dong ding~

Kung wala mang gaanong natutunan ngayo'y magsikap sa aralan
Kung wala mang gaanong natutunan ngayo'y magsikap sa aralan~


Ikalabing anim ng Disyembre
Ikalabing anim ng Disyembre

ding dong ding dong~

May mga parol na nakasindi (Ikalabing anim ng Disyembre)
May mga parol na nakasindi (Ikalabing anim ng Disyembre)

Oooooh...

Simbang Gabi
Simbang Gabi
Ay simula ng pasko

Simbang Gabi
Simula ng pasko
Sa puso ng lahing pilipino
Siyam na gabi (Siyam na gabing nagigising)
Sa tugtog ng kampanang walang tigil
Dong~

Maaga kami kinabukasan
(Lalakad kami) Langkay-langkay
Babatiin ang ninong at ninang ng "Maligayang Pasko po"
At hahalik ng kamay

Simbang Gabi
Simula ng pasko
Sa puso ng lahing pilipino
Siyam na gabi (Siyam na gabing nagigising)
Sa tugtog ng kampanang walang tigil
Dong~

Maaga kami kinabukasan
(Lalakad kami) Langkay-langkay
Babatiin ang ninong at ninang ng "Maligayang Pasko po"
At hahalik ng kamay

Lahat kami masayang masaya
At~
Puno ang bulsa
(Hindi namin) malimut-limutan ang masarap na puto't suman
Matutulog kami ng mahimbing
(Iniisip ang bagong taon at ang) Tatlong Hari darating sa Pilipinas ay pasko pa rin~

Maaga kami kinabukasan
(Lalakad kami) Langkay-langkay
Babatiin ang ninong at ninang ng "Maligayang Pasko po"
At hahalik ng kamay

Ding dong (Ding dong, ding dong)
Ding dong (Ding dong, ding dong)
Ding dong (Ding dong, ding dong)
Ding dong (Ding dong, ding dong)

Pasko Na! (Pasko Na!)
Pasko Na! (Pasko Na!)

Manalo man tayo o hindi, go Gluon! Go '08! Merry Christmas, Maligayang Pasko, at sana naman hindi kayo mawalan ng kamay o daliri sa bagong taon...

I would probably be the "person most likely to screw up."

By all standards, I am supposed to be genuinely happy. I have friends who care about me. I have special friends who understand me. I have classmates who enjoy me being around (at least, I think so...) and I enjoy being with them. I have STR groupmates who have been enduring me for this past year - I am really thankful for them in particular, and I am sorry. I am relatively better off grades-wise compared to some other people. I've had the chance to go to such exotic and faraway places. I am content...

And yet, I have this tendency to just screw up once in a while. Ask my friends; well, if you don't really know them, or me, then don't. What I meant to say is, I am the one who keeps getting into fights and such with my own special friends, misunderstanding words and gestures and getting into heated arguments over misconceptions.

I wish I wasn't like that anymore. I wish I wouldn't keep making mistakes and getting into heated arguments over such insignificant trivial matters. I'll have to change that about myself.

---

Right now, I'm supposed to study for Physics and English Periodic Tests. I've already finished Les Miserables and read whatever I missed in Spark Notes. I've already studied the list of vocabulary words. I hope I can do well again this Periodical Exam. As for Physics, I've forgotten most of the B equations (the equations concerning computations for the magnetic fields due to various conducting materials.) Luckily, it would help to remember Ampere's Law. Still messed up about interference and diffraction, though. Hopefully I still remember how induced emf works.

//to be continued sometime soon. Then again, by that time, the Phys and Eng perios would be finished.

I just had one of the happiest birthdays of my life. (If you don't know when that is, oh well...)

Well, sure, I didn't get something I really wanted, like some gadget or anything. I got more than that...

I already have the most important things i could ever ask for. I... feel content.

I screwed up again recently, but it's ok now... Time to move on...

Now, an unorganized collection of events that transpired over the last few days...

Gluon landed in 2nd place in the paskorus. Just as i had left, feeling that we had no chance, i came back... he convinced me to do so... not because our class needed my voice. it was because I had to keep my promise. and when i came back, we tried our best, and it got us this far. go, batch 08!

I've also qualified for a few econ contests. the next one on 24 november. Wish us - me, nicoli, david b., and janella good luck! although, kami nina nicoli at david ung sa 24.

We had such a great day yesterday, painting the school's walls. we had to get paint all over ourselves, climb the wall to paint the fences, and occasionally step on shit. after that we had to douse ourselves with paint thinner to wash the paint off. then we had some food. what a fun activity! I sincerely wish that it would continue next week; regretfully, i may not be able to participate because we have to cram study sessions for econ contests. (modest proposal anyone?)

We also had grad pic taking this week. my creative pose might not be creative, but it doesn't matter. i'll just have to worry about giving pictures to people, when they finally come out.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, we have to restart our str. we have to pull it together now.

I've been touched by the stuff people wrote about me. I hope that they too will appreciate what I've written about them. Thank you so much.

What I would ask from Santa? ...I would want more time, to cherish the people I love and care for, while we are still together.

We'll always be friends, even when we have parted ways. Thank you for teaching me that.

Once again, I screwed up.

I know now why I've been sad all this time... why I've been taking it out on the people who care about me...

I've... lost track of my ideals. I've forgotten my promises, the things i set myself to do, the mistakes i should never commit again. I've forgotten how to care for other people, and their feelings... All this time I was too busy minding my own sorry self... Now i realize why i felt so sad and empty...

I'm sorry... I truly am... I'm sorry for being so insensitive.

I apologize to those I have hurt carelessly... the people who care for me, whom i got mad at because of something small, trivial, insignificant. I am sorry... I hope i get to forgive myself...

I have to change for the better,,, I have to make good on my promises...

I'll do what i can. I'll do my best this time...

It was on this day a year ago... The day I would never forget. The happiest day of my life. The saddest day of my life, at the same time...

I felt the greatest love. I felt so much loved... I was so happy, so lucky, so fortunate, so grateful to have such wonderful and kind and loving friends... I was in tears, in pain, in despair... But it did not matter, because they were there for me. He was there for me... They were all there...

I don't exactly remember it like yesterday... I woke up early, or rather, I was awakened by a classmate who managed to stay up all night... Had a morning walk with a friend, and it was cold... Sang songs in the mass with him, my best friend... and then... in the afternoon... he... came to me and let me embrace him. It gave me strength, because it was proof... Proof of our friendship... that no matter how much I annoyed him, or no matter how much he disliked being with me, he would still be there by my side. He would still be my friend... It was more than that though...

In the afternoon, there were confessions... I told the priest what I remembered I did, and after that... I just felt so relieved. Like a pain was taken from my heart... Like a burden was lifted off my shoulders. Finally, I had been forgiven... And I had forgiven myself, something I can never do easily.

I could never move on... My friends would forgive me, even for hurting them so badly at times.... They manage to forgive and forget. I could not... I could not forgive myself... for hurting the people that I love and care for... for hurting them again, even though they find it in their hearts to forgive me... I am undeserving of their love and care, and still they love and care for me... I am thankful... so very thankful...

It was later that night when it happened... I'm sure you all know what happened. The whole incident... After that... I ran away, fled the scene... I went to the chapel and was all alone. I was waiting for somebody... anybody to come... but no one did. I... felt like crying, but no tears came out... I decided to come back... He was there, outside, and quickly i evaded him... Everyone was inside, watching the movie. When it was done, it was time to read. For some reason, I cried... I cried my heart out... in a corner... trying to hide my tears from everyone... and I ran away again... this time, with Ate Tin and Father Mon... I was glad they were there for me as well... Eventually, I got my letters... I still have them with me. Everywhere I go, I bring them, the letters that people wrote me... I brought them with me when I went to Bangkok... and when I went to Montreal, also... they were always with me... They were all simple messages really... They just told me that they did care for me. That they were there for me. Whatever happened...



Now, I am lost. Confused. In despair. Trapped in the past, in the things I have failed to do and pass on time. I always tried to run away... My trips to Bangkok and Montreal were attempts to escape... Eventually though my problems would come.

I have had troubles and problems with my friends. Recently, I am more sad... More prone to depression or aggression at any remark or comment I find insensitive or hurtful to me. I do have the right to be angry when I am wronged... but... I have gone too far. I have hurt my friends again... again with insensitive remarks and anger and frustration...

I've gone too far. I'm sorry. I know that you've already forgiven me and forgot the pain. Please help me forgive myself. Please help me have peace of mind... I'm sorry for always depending on you, but I need your help once more. Please... I'm sorry for forcing you to change. I'm sorry for demanding too much of you. I'm sorry. I know that you would do what's right... I'm sorry for getting mad at you all the time... I'm... sorry...


Sorry.

It was on this day a year ago...

I was alone. Well, not really alone. In the midst of people looking for signatures. I had just come back from the dormitories, relieving myself. Suddenly, people were coming to me, asking for my signature. Eventually I figured out that it was a game of sorts. Well, the clue about me was... appropriate...



I was alone. In the dark, on the bed, willing myself to sleep. He was there, just opposite me. I was waiting for him to attack. He promised that he wouldn't do anything for these three days. I couldn't count on that. I could not sleep. There was still a light on, in the dark. Occasionally he would come and check up on everyone to see if they were asleep. The friends of mine who were still awake were just playing games, instead of whatever we were supposed to do in the days we spent here. Or, rather, what we were not supposed to do.

I tossed and turned, and I looked at my friend, asleep. I knew he would be there for me in case anything happened. I knew they were all there, beside me, just in case something did happen. The thought gave me peace... Eventually I fell to sleep, to wake up early the next day. It was really cold that early morning... I would have to wake up early, for we were going to sing in the morning Mass.

It was that day, a year ago tomorrow. The most important day to me. It was the day I felt the greatest love. The day I truly felt loved. The day I truly felt cared for. And yet, that was the saddest day also. I was.. brought to tears... And yet in the midst of that night, I did not even know why...



Why can't I let go? Why can't I move on? The past is important, but I must move on.

It is from the past that I draw my strength to continue this life... Yet now I feel I am trapped by it...

I should be happy. I am very fortunate... very fortunate to have friends more than one could ask for...

I have a friend who always understands me, and tries to console me. I feel as though I could share with him all my hopes and sufferings, my problems and anxieties... and he would give me hope. There was nothing to be ashamed of with him, for somehow, he always understood. I was always there for him, and he was always there for me. And sometimes I did hurt him, and betray his trust, but he managed to forgive me. Thank you...

I have a friend who was always kind to me, who always listened to me. He... always forgave me for the things I did to him. He... always forgot how I wronged him. I wish I could be like him. I want to learn how to forgive... It's forgetting the pain and hurt that is hard... He was many things to me... He taught me a lot of things... He was wise and kind, one of the kindest people I ever knew... but he was sad inside like me. I hope he finds happiness in the dreams he can pursue with wisdom like his.

I have friends who are there for me, who console me, either with serious advice or not-so-serious jokes, gags and assorted activities that actually helped... Sometimes, when need be, they correct me and tell me what I am doing wrong. I am thankful. I want to learn that, also. To look at a person, even your closest and most precious friend, and tell them what is wrong with them, to help them see that themselves.

I have friends and people who actually notice that I exist... Even a simple Hi or Hello from anyone brightens up my day, even from the people like my classmates whom I don't really know. For some reason, it makes me... happy. Even if it's just an attempt to get money from me...



I should be happy. Why? Why am I in this silent despair?

I am... trapped in the past. Trapped in the past that gave importance to my life. Trapped in the past that I cannot escape now. I had neglected in my duties, and now they pile up one after the other...

I need to fix myself. Somehow. Before it's too late...

For the past week, all I've felt is, well, sadness. Rather, a mix of emotions that makes me feel sad, or at least makes me worry...

First, it was about the activities that i missed. The group requirements that required me to be there, and i didn't show up. Instead I was practically vacationing somewhere on the other side of the globe. I feel guilty about that... I'm sorry. I doubt that any of you will have read this, though.

My major problems concern the people important to me. The people most important to me. It's, well, them. You know. My best friends...

...the first problem is that, well, i plan to do something. something that would make my best friend hate me. i assume you already know what that is. well, no, he's not that childish or immature, to immediately despise me. but, he's human. it would only be natural for him to feel pain, when I am with... i know that he always puts his head above his heart, where it has always been (that was one of the things he taught me...) but he's still going to be hurt. whenever he would recall the memory of the time... he will just remember pain. i don't want to make one of the most important days in high school life a hell for him.

and yet, the other part of me says that i shouldn't let his feelings dictate/determine what to do with my life. that my happiness and other interests are more important than his. that they should be more important than his. and yet, my happiness is, well, bound to him. i cannot be happy if he is sad, in despair, more so if he is like that as a consequence of something i have done. if he is mature enough, the other part of me says, he will not let this get in the way... after all, in the end, i do not want to come between them. i never loved... i just had feelings, and i liked being with the person. in the end, it doesn't really matter, because it will only be after school that he can love. it's not important that i... what matters is that they get to be... in the future, after school...

of course, who said she already said yes? haven't even asked her yet. it's most unlikely that she'll even say yes anyway. (wow... so, well, i suppose it's obvious now.)

The other main problem... i can't really talk about it, because he might "listen."

please remember, no matter what happens, I'll always be there for you. no matter how much you hurt me, no matter how many faults you have, i will always be there for you. your faults may be all that i can see, but your kindness is all that i feel. i'll always be loyal to you, no matter what i do or say. I'll always remain your friend.

...well, this post is a bit vague and unclear; just like what i feel right now. a mix of emotions.

I'm finally back home. I missed all of you guys... As usual, I'm feeling a lot of things right now.

We won, first place, in the Regional Ozone Quiz held in Bangkok... After a close fight, we got on top, and stayed there until the final round ended, and we won! We won about USD 1500. Of course, as you already know, half of it goes to the school, and half of it is further divided between Lawe and me. So, after applying math, I get only USD 375. Well, that's not so bad. But still...

It was really fun. Being away from school for a few days (but not too much), being with new people, and making new friends as well. It really was a unique experience that I would always treasure.

We're going to go to Montreal in September. I'm very excited. I mean... it may not be fun or something... I could picture myself sitting in a conference room, being bored to death by overly long speeches and other legislative processes, while having to be presentable because I am a representative... Still, in spite of all that, it's a new place to visit. New experiences... Anyway, back to immediate reality now... I'll have to get my ACET moved, if possible. Hopefully I won't miss much this time. I might miss the Sayaw Interpretasyon, though. Ma'am Cion will just assign me to do something else. Go GLUON!!! RARR RARR RARR!!! You (not we... wala naman ako dun eh...) can do it! Don't worry; manalo man Gluon o hinde, libre pa rin sa birthday ko...

I'm a bit sad right now... My grades have fallen short of what I expected them to be. Physics is okay... Econ is only 1.25; I needed 1.0... And there's Pinoy... I can get a 3... I feel... different somehow. My friends console me, saying that it's okay... we did win an international contest... but still, kung hindi man ako maka-DL ngayon, i'll be a bit depressed. Don't worry though, hindi naman ako ganun ka-emo or pathetic na magpapakamatay ako dahil lang sa grades... Still, as I said twice or thrice already, I'll still be a bit depressed.

I'll just look forward to the future. There is still hope. There are still the people I love, who will care for me and always be with me. Of course, I will be there to care for them and be with them. There is still a life to live. There is still a future.

Now for the less serious part... I'm just going to spend my time talking about, well, new stuff. There's a lot of new things coming...

Before I die, or kill myself (joke) I would like to play StarCraft II... We've all been waiting for it... and finally, it is coming!!! New units for the three races... and favorite units will be back as well. Still, there is something... People are all arguing about the new Dark Templar - about how it looks. Some people want it to look more like the original one. Some dislike the weapon. Some dislike its concept art. Isn't that just stupid? I mean... what's supposed to matter is the unit in-game. If it's still similar to the old dark templar in terms of usefulness, then that's good. Because, otherwise, it would die to a Colossus, maybe even an Immortal, and to a Planetary Fortress as well.

Finally, to all of you who don't like "the new Dark Templar", what can you actually do about it? Complain like hell to Blizzard? You can choose to skip out on everything else in StarCraft II, but that's not Blizzard's problem. There are a lot of people who would still play StarCraft II, even with the new stuff they don't like.
That keeps StarCraft II going. Whatever happens, I'll try to save up for it. Even though it's most likely that my current PC can't handle it, I'll save for it so that I can upgrade my PC...

There's also Ragnarok Online 2: The Gate of The World. Yes, I know most of you are already sick of RO. Well, I'm looking forward to it anyway. It's going to be a nice game, I know it... Just you wait... RO2's going to be a lot different. In RO1 news... there are already 3rd classes! I mean, they're already planned for existence when Episode 13 comes. According to, well, Gravity, 3rd jobs will continue from 2nd jobs, AND NOT TRANSCENDENTS. Transcendents still have an advantage over them though. Well, I don't know what exactly that means, but I am so very excited!

Finally, please comment on the new archetype in Magic - the Planeswalker! Most of the people seem to say that it's so f'n wrong. Yes, the duelists are supposed to be the planeswalkers... Yes, planeswalkers just can't summon planeswalkers; that doesn't sound right. Yes, planeswalkers were never made into cards because they were beyond being mere Creatures. But then, what can you do? You can choose to not play Lorwyn. You'll be missing out on the rest of the set, though.

Still, I'd like to think of how Planeswalkers are to be different... here's a little sample that Joel and I sort of thought up. It's not in any way real...

sample card
Venser - 2UU - 2/2
Legendary Planeswalker - Human Artificer

Blink (At any time, you may remove this card from the game. Return it into play, and enchant it with all auras previously enchanting it, if any, and put on it all counters of any kind previously on it, if any.) [A sort of ability that all Planeswalker cards have, which Planeswalkers are known for... that is, all cards with Planeswalker archetype immediately have this ability]

3, TAP: Put an artifact card from your hand into play tapped.


...Well, wala lang. Just a product of the imagination... If Urza was ever into a Planeswalker card, Joel thought, he would have something like "All Lands are Urza's Power-Plant, Urza's Tower, and Urza's Mine in addition to their types." Well, I'm still excited about Lorwyn.

Now is a great time to be alive... WIth so many new things coming our way... And, it's more than that.

We're friends again... Still, sometimes, I can't believe it, but we're friends again. It's like everything is back to normal. He even trusts me again. I'm so thankful... I'm so grateful for having another chance at this friendship... I won't intentionally do bad stuff this time.

Thank you, [you know who you are]. Thank you so much. You even console me in my grades dilemma and stuff... Thank you for trying to make me feel better. I'm happy for you, that you're doing well in life. I know that things will turn out okay, because you're there for me all the way. Of course, I'll also be there for you, to help you if I can... to console you if you need to. I'm sorry if I'm a bit paranoid about you treating me as though nothing had happened. It's just... too good to be true. Still, I believe now... I trust you now when you say that you're my friend again... Thank you so much...

I'm glad you're my friend again.

Oh, and as for all the personality tests out there.

I belong in Limbo. I'm mostly dependent.

I'm here in Bangkok right now... After a 3 hour flight, I'm finally here.

It wasn't that much of a long journey. I was quite nervous at the airplane though. I was expecting my ears to explode, or hurt badly, or something. Well, that didn't happen.

It's fun so far...

I'm gonna go home by 23 August, or Thursday. I'll be at Manila by 6:30 pm, +8 GMT. Well, I'm not exactly expecting a welcoming committee...

Bad news... I'm only going to be given my 400 USD tomorrow.... Don't have it yet... All I have is about 300 pesos, which is essentially worthless... for now...

The 2000 prize money has become just 1500... and 1000 will be taken for the school... So, i only have 250 USD... damn... don't worry though, I won't forget to get all of you souvenirs. I'll also log on whenever I am able...

And, well... I'm happy right now... He's my friend again... He's given me another chance. I may screw up again. I can't promise that I won't. But it's going to be different this time... Same as before, but different.

Thank you guys, for being there for me.

Thank you for forgiving me.

Thank you for being my friend again.

Thank you for giving me a chance.

I'm dedicating this contest to you. I'll do my best.

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breaking
It's early morn
The taxi's waiting
He's blowing his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die...

...Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when Ill be back again...

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you...

...Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again...

Well, I didn't mean anything by that. It's not addressed to anyone. That's why i removed a lot of parts.

Anyway, I'm going to leave on Sunday, 10:30 am. Still don't know when I'll be back. Probably on Thursday, maybe Thursday afternoon. I'm a bit excited. I'm a bit depressed. I feel so many things at once. I don't know...

A lot of things happened. Once again, I did something stupid. And, unlike before, I did it intentionally this time. How stupid can I be... to hurt the person who trusts me most?

I just hope that we could be friends again. I hope that everything would be back to the way it was before. I hope that eventually you would trust me once more. I will do what I can... everything I must do... to gain your trust back. It's the most important thing to me.

If you will really not trust me anymore, or ever again, I just wish that I could simply be your friend again. I know that you must think that I'll simply screw up again, and hurt you again. Well... I can't really promise change. I can't really promise that I won't screw up again. I know that now. I will do my best to get your trust back. I will do my best to become a better person. Even if I would sometimes hurt the people I care about, I still would try to change for them. It would be better that I had memories with you, both happy memories and sad ones, rather than none at all.

I'm sorry for disappointing you. For hurting you. For betraying your trust.

Thank you for forgiving me. At least, now, I can think clearly. Thank you... Thank you so much.

Please, give me a chance. I may screw up this time... It may only be a matter of time until I screw up again... But, I will try to never hurt you again. I hurt you this time of my own will, thinking I could use you. I will never do that again. That I can promise you, and I do promise you that now.

I know you feel that my words are empty now. I could only hope that eventually you would listen again.

Sorry for the emo post, everybody. Wish me luck in Bangkok... Although, right now I'm worrying over the cultural presentation... And the quiz itself...

Tomorrow, we're going to perform the Reader's Theatre. For me, it's more than just 14.6% of my English 4 grade (which i desperately need to cunter my Fil grade.) It's also a critical binding experience that determines if Gluon will stay together.

One of the reasons as to why Sampa is so close is the fact that we've all gone through experiences we can all relate. We were all trying our best to win that Paskorus. We would practice every day until we got tired. I remember going home very late, because of practices. It was a very unforgettable set of experiences. Still, when we look back on that, it seems surprising as to why we did not win - we had Red, and Tobit, and Soph, and Iya, and of course, Kim and me (just joking... but we really did sing, and put our all into it.) We didn't win because of... a lot of things. However, the fact that we didn't win didn't bother us at all. We were all in it together, and we were proud of it. We were happy. We had done our best, and gave it all to God. That's one of the reasons as to why Sampa is so close. In fact, there are only a few groups as closely-knit as us.

I just hope something like that happens for Gluon. No offense, but I don't want it to turn out like Sodium did. Sodium was close, yes. The Ramayana was a significant bonding experience. All of that fell apart during the Di-Kumbensyonal na Musika or whatever it was. Since then, we had a general lack of motivation; we were a bit apathetic. Still, days with Sodium were memorable, and like Sampa, they are close to me as well. I got to make new friends, and I got to know people more. More importantly, I grew up when I was with them. All of the stuff that happened to me last year helped me change myself, and Sodium was there for me. Not like Sampa, but still, I could see that most of them cared. Thanks, guys.

Now, I look forward to the future. Hopefully, our Reader's Theatre becomes a success.

I also hope I do well in my upcoming contest also. My parents keep telling me to study, because they certainly don't want me to be unable to answer anything. Still, I'm not exactly just doing nothing. It's not that I am not studying. It's just that, I am still busy with requirements... I also imagine that I'd be steeped in requirements too, like Tobit, and Steph, when I get back. Still, I just hope I can enjoy time there. I'd definitely enjoy a break from all the pressure, and all the requirements. But I would never want to be away... Away from my special family and friends. I just hope that I don't let everybody down... Wish lawe and me luck... Don't worry, I won't forget to get souvenirs. I'm gonna miss you guys...

It's been so long since I posted... anyway... right now, I feel so confused... and worried...

The suspension of classes has been quite unnerving... i am grateful for the free time, but we have to do the life sci poster... and my portfolio... and a whole lot of other requirements... There's also the Reader's Theatre... I have to get that remaining 14.6 percent. I have to get 1.0 in english to counter my abyssmal grades in Pinoy this quarter. And, there's also physics, the main subject this year. I have to get a good grade in physics to get my grades up. I am a bit worried about CAT; if i actually get low on it it will push me down, and i can't afford that...

On the other hand, i am quite excited by the Perio scores. I did exceptionally well in English (99/100... yes, curse me if you want to...) and I also did good in Bio (44/50.) I passed Math barely at 19/30, and I got a relatively high score at physics (28/35.) I'm a bit excited at Chem and Econ... and I don't even want to know my score in Pinoy... Ma'am Cion's Pinoy is just like Sir Args' English... in the sense that they are both extremely lethal... if only i could appreciate Filipino Literature like English Literature... You can't blame me, though... Biag ni Lam-ang is no Iliad... and, don't get me started on the Hinilawod... I hope that literature "under the pen and sword" (or, during the Spanish period) is more "understandable"...

Sorry for all the GC talk (not referring to anyone at all, sorry if you're offended) but I really can't think of anything right now... other than grades... I just feel... so many things at once...

There's also the contest.. I'm leaving in about 10 days' time... I'm leaving for Bangkok, with Lawe from muon, and we're gonna participate in the Regional Ozone Quiz. It's, in a few words, a mix of chem and soc sci. Atmospheric chem is relatively easy to handle; it's the soc sci part that bothers me... We have to memorize names of heads of institutions and agencies and stuff. We have to familiarize ourselves with the Montreal and Kyoto Protocols, and trust me, you will find more interesting reads than these legal documents. Why is it that legal documents always have to be long-winded and boring to read? It's just so... circular... and boring... and long... to think that you'd need an entire paragraph just to say one thing... yes, you need to make sure that there are no loopholes or exceptions... still... i don't want to study the whole document, which is why hopefully Ma'am Andaya would summarize it for us...

I'm going to be away from 19 to 23... that is, from Sunday to Thursday next next week... wish us luck... and hopefully i don't miss too many requirements. Hopefully, we would also win the competition itself... Hopefully, I would be able to get souvenirs for most people... That depends, of course, if i have money to spare. Hopefully, I'll also be able to keep in touch with you guys... We're gonna stay in a hotel for a few days, before the competition proper, and it has internet access... i just hope that there's someway i could contact you people... kahit internet cafe man lang...

Wish us luck... not only with the contest, but the requirements that we have to pass before we leave and the requirements that will flood us when we get back...

PS: Reader's Theatre isn't going to be moved at all.. While Sir Args has a point, still... damn...

In the other side of the heart,
there lies pain.
Pain that shatters your life apart.
Pain that is simply too painful.

In the other side of the heart,
there lies the truth.
The truth that pains like no other.
The truth that is simply too harsh.

The truth that you seek to hide
From the eyes of the outside world.
With a mask on your face
And a hood over your eyes
You pretend it isn't there.

It's easy to lie to yourself,
to tell yourself that it doesn't matter
as long as the person you love
is happy and content, even without you.

It still is there,
in the other side of the heart.
And yet you have to accept it.
You cannot change it.
It is immutable, irreversible.
You have to endure the suffering.

Is there only sadness and pain
in the other side of the heart?
I do not even know.
Perhaps there is hope.

The truth, painful as it is,
may be changed, before it is too late.
Never let go of this life.
Never give up your chance.
It's the only chance you get
To make things right.

>>Um... wala lang... anyway...

pm just owned UPCAT's head for n gold!
pm just drew first blood!

>>wala lang... hehe

good luck sa third/last blood! kaya niyo UPCAT. Mas mahirap pa simulation...

Finally, the day comes. The day/s when our fates are decided...

What is it with the UPCAT...? I mean... how can i just get 70% on a test made for 2nd~3rd years? It's... just... well... anyway...

Good luck, Batch '08 (the great!)! We can do this! Rah rah rah (whatever... hehe...) But she does have a point... But then again, only she and javert were like that... I don't see ma'am orate or ma'am sanchez saying that...

Expect more decent posts after the UPCAT. I'm just gonna relax... for now... and picture myself eating Egg McMuffins... or whatever they were, basta, I like them... mmm.... food...

See some of you all tomorrow... especially all of us first blood people at the school of econ (dami namin eh)... good luck also to the last-blood people... sana naman hindi kayo masyadong mapagod, dahil may talong peryo pa bukas sa monday at may CAT practical pa (at may CS practical ata ung mga web dev...) look on the bright side... at least the perio isn't math... well.. good luck rin... keep your hopes up... kailangan hindi tayo magpatalo sa previous batches... kailangan 90-something percent sa atin ang pumasa...

And don't forget... number 2 monggol pencils, and erasers, and your testing permit are the only things that you are required and allowed to bring... except for food. mmm... food... And i think you can't bring cellphones as well... that might not be confirmed... read the rules... finally, it may not really matter when you wake up, it's most likely that you'll walk from philcoa/commonwealth until you get to your testing center... sana naman hindi ka mapagod papunta sa testing center na hindi ka na makaisip sa test...

Good luck. Hope you remember what you've studied.

The majority of my life has been, in a single word, uneventful. Nothing was happening. I used to excel in academics and studies, in my Grade School, without exerting effort at all. All of that changed during high school. It was during this time that I learned more about myself, and how to understand others.

At my first year in Philippine Science High School, I was unable to excel. There was the sudden realization that there are a lot of people smarter than me in Math, Science, even English/Language. It was also during this time that I had taken to a group of friends. They were from the Ateneo – I was surprised that there were many of them in our batch – and they were not what I expected. I was expecting stereotypical nerds and jocks, like a stereotypical high school. My friends were, well, more jock than nerd. But that didn’t really matter. They taught me the basics of camaraderie, and I did enjoy time with them.

In second year, we went our own ways. This time, I had discovered new friends in my new section. I had a close friend who was from the Ateneo as well. He told me a lot of stories about his former school.

I was expecting the Ateneo to be more than just what my friend described to me. Everyone in his former school was relatively richer than his family was. He would be bullied by older students on the school bus and by his fellow batchmates as well. Of course, I had my share of bullies on the school bus and embarrassing experiences, but not to an extent such as his. And despite of the society that mocked him, of the culture that forced its definitions and limitations upon him, he still remained himself – there was still kindness in his heart. And it was this that drew me to him, and so our friendship started.

From that day on, I felt that whatever purpose I had in life was revealed to me. For me, my mission was to show people that they were cared for, and capable of producing kindness. I wanted to show that this world was unfair, uncaring and indifferent only because it was what they were told. This world is full of sadness because people were to be blind to everything else. These thoughts seemed to fill my life with a purpose, and I believed – not that I found out in the future that they were false or that they were simply naïve ideas of children; rather, I found out it was not easy to fulfill these purposes.

I had returned the kindness of my friend with kindness and concern in turn, and it made me happy as well. The second year contained many wonderful memories and experiences, and the “family” of sorts that we had carried over into the future. We were always closely knit together, more than just a barkada, more like an actual family.

Third year, however, was a most stressing time, and it was a bit sad as well. It was also the most memorable of the years I spent so far. It was during this time that I made a new friend from an acquaintance in second year. He was one of the smartest persons I knew, winning contests he was sent to, or at least getting recognitions for them. He was also very kind to me as well. He would try to teach me when I would not comprehend the lessons we were taking up. He would always have time to listen to me, although he was usually quite busy with his contests and requirements. In time, he became a special friend to me. He showed me that by understanding people, I could show them that they were cared for.

It was during these times that love grew in the hearts of people, and was expressed. I was surprised to see most of my friends asking their “special someone” to go to the prom with them. My best friend from last year was asking someone as well, even though he said that he would go stag (not go with anyone.) We were all surprised, yet we still helped him, and finally he got to pop the question. My story was different, though, and a bit sad.

One of my classmates in second year was my classmate again in third year. He was also from the Ateneo, and he had quite a reputation, both here and in the Ateneo. He was an outcast, a pariah of sorts, ostracized by the batch and ridiculed by his peers from the Ateneo, but still he felt at home with the rest of our group. I took it upon myself to try to console him and understand him. For a while, it worked. However, we had a misunderstanding, and it developed into a grudge.

Somehow, I had violated his feelings, and eventually he had a vendetta with me. He would attack what I say and hurl insults at me. Such acts did not disturb me much. However, he was also trying to ostracize me from our group. He brought with him a few handhelds and played games with most of my friends, making them spend more time with him than me. Eventually, he proceeded to physically attacking me with various “weapons.” He even attacked me during our Retreat, and it made me really depressed that night. My friends were there for me, however, and it turned out okay. Eventually we got him banned from the school after another attempt to hurt me.

In his absence, I realized how similar we were to each other. For instance, we both believed ourselves mature and understanding of others. Even our mannerisms were the same. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how similar we were to each other. Eventually, however, I made mistakes that sundered my life, and I regretted these things so much. I had promised myself that I would change, and not make these mistakes again.

Right now, I am in the fourth year, with my two best friends and the rest of our group, trying to change myself for the better so that I would not hurt my friends anymore. Adding this to the workload for the fourth year, and preparing for the UPCAT, the more difficult ACET and maybe even the SAT, I could see myself being stretched to the limit. It was a bit of relief when my “enemy” reconciled with me, and I really appreciate it. I will not back down, however. I will graduate and qualify for the Ateneo, and eventually fulfill the purpose of my life somehow with my job. Until that time, I am here. I will change. I will work hard for the future, so that it will be different from the past. This school, and the experiences I have had here, and the friends I have, has taught me more than limits of functions, or reaction rates and equilibrium expressions, or quantum physics, or epics and works of literature, or soccer and badminton, or marching in cadence, or even cramming. All of them – my school, my parents and teachers, my friends, and the experiences I have - taught me how to live this short life I have. I feel a bit content; knowing that I have touched a few lives – the friends closest to me – and made a mark on this world with the achievements I have made, even if they are only small.

Somewhere in my high school there is a plaque with my name on it. The competition it was commemorating wasn’t that big – a Social Science Quiz – but it is more than that. It shows that I existed, that I was here on this planet. And I will continue to exist, after I die, in the lives of the people that I have touched.

To my avid readers (as if) : I apologize for being too lazy to update my blog. It's all because of STR, and long tests, and etc. Right now, I'm supposed to be doing Filipino, but, oh well. We have a lot to talk about that happened over these 12 days since my last post.

First, the not really important stuff. I was finally able to watch Transformers... Yey. Be happy for me. Be very very happy. Anyway... it was nice. While I am not familiar at all with the series, I still appreciate it. There is still the cliche nerd turning into hero over the course of the film, which is so overused and unoriginal and unreal, but Bumblebee's... appropriate background music really does deliver. All in all, it's a nice movie... I'm not sure how bad Harry Potter 5 sucked though... I still think it would be nice...

Speaking of Harry Potter, I was able to read and finish Deathly Hallows in a single day... when I was supposed to be reading Ang Mag-anak na Cruz. I slept at 2 am just to finish it... and it was nice. It really does tie up all the loose ends. There were a few slightly disappointing points. First of all, R.A.B. really did turn out to be //SPOILER; we were actually expecting somebody else - not a new character, but we got it right. There were also a few unanswered questions. For example, it is shown that Petunia Evans Dursley had correspondence with Dumbledore. No, not after the Boy Who Lived incident; she had a letter from him, maybe even about Hogwarts, when she and Lily were just teenagers. It might be likely that Petunia is actually a witch; she might have wanted to be a witch, at least. SInce there are no more books after, we may never know. Also, I expected something more elaborate for the Harry vs Voldemort fight thing. A cool duel like what happened between Voldemort and Dumbledore; Harry throwing spells at Voldemort, him doing the same, no more annoying Priori Incantatem/twin-core wands to slow it down (ah, spoiler... but then again, if they did do Priori Incantatem, it would've made a cool fight... the echoes of Voldemort's victims floating around...)... not just his spell simply backfiring on him. More questions. Can a simple Protego protect you from Voldemort's Killing Curse? Seems... unlikely, but for some reason... hmm... Other things. A lot of people died... I would've made a list, but... oh well... Voldemort dies, duh... Harry dies as well. What a spoiler.

Enough Deathly Hallows. Let's go to... Pisay! We (sodium + xby) watched on saturday, after the review. I was lucky to come, 'coz i was sick that time, with a slight fever. After taking a trip through Manila (we passed by Tobit's previous school, St. Jude, on the way...) we finally got to the CCP. We proceeded to the balcony, where I sat with Vien and Kyla... and directly behind Sir Talaue... There were a lot of teachers there, because they were all invited to watch at the same time we watched - 1530. The movie lasted a good two hours or so. The movie was, well... I couldn't really have an unbiased opinion of it, because I do study at that school. It was nice... mainly because we could see in the movie... parts of our own life in Pisay. We could relate to the stories of the people. I wouldn't want to spoil the story; all I can tell is that it is discontinuous. It covers the lives of different people throughout the different years of high school life, as the batch graduates. After a while, it might be redundant to see the students having the same class over and over again... but still, it is worth the discounted price of 50 pesos. There were also food and "drinks" there... drinks, as in, drinks that you're not supposed to drink yet. Why is it minors like beer anyway? Why are we so excited when one of our classmates brings beer or something? It may not even taste good at all... Maybe it's just a self-imposed standard by the society. I mean, just because we can't drink beer makes it a substance we look forward to drinking when we can. Anyway... we had a lot of Sodium pictures... It really was fun. We saw a lot of teachers at the place; most of the teachers we know are there; even ma'am cardenas was there... While it seems we might've wasted our time watching on the 21st when we watch it by batch on the 27th, there are still some... important things. I am definitely bringing some money to get a Pisay shirt...

Let's pray for Tobit and Steph, that they win something in IMO in Vietnam. And for Tobit as well, so that he would finally make a move when nobody's looking. Well, not what you think... It's just that... this might be the only chance he gets with Steph alone... I know that he would make the right/proper choice, whatever it may be. Let's just wish them good luck... And, expect them to bring presents/souvenirs/pasalubong... OR ELSE. (Yep, that's from Vien... Well... I want a souvenir also... Not really the panda bear that says "I love you!" when you squish it, but I want that also...)

My throat, or rather, the posterior end of my oral cavity hurts so much... I can't really eat because the sheer pain forces me to abandon eating. It really is painful... I just hope it heals soon...

That's all...for now... More posts to come.

This week was long and tiring. However, a lot of things happened over the course of these past few days. I'll try to go over them...

First... I passed the first LT in Math! I even got the highest score in Gluon - and my score was 28/40. It was obviously that freaking hard. It really was a good thing that i was able to solve the two problems in the problem solving part. They were relatively uncomplicated as compared to the ASN part and the FitB part... Still, I am glad that I passed. The first LT of Math 5 is always the most difficult one... and I'm glad I passed it... sorry for all of you who might be offended...

In the Com Sci LT, i only got 26/27... well, sorry for seeming arrogant, but I was in Proogies... I was supposed to ace that exam without any problems... I've also been troubled by the PS given to us in Proogies. No programming stuff; just... logic. Not even being group mates with "god" (the de Villa guy who won programming competitions at first year...) seems to help. I hope I can think up of a solution to that... Still, I am excited with the upcoming competition thingy. If me and my partner (the twenty or so of us were split into pairs of two) win, we get tickets to movies in Trinoma. Well... I know what I'm going to do with them...

The Filipino LT was, well... um... I don't know. There was a lot of stuff I was unable to answer. It was asking specifics and stuff, like the meter of a song or a creed. It also gave sample pieces of literature and we were supposed to identify these. It was hard, because, well, I didn't know what to expect. I hope I pass... even barely...

I got 35/40 in the Bio LT... Yes, I am supposed to be happy, but a lot of people were higher than me. I have to do better next time... One must always remember that whenever you barely pass, almost pass, get a high score, or ace a Long Test, there is always one after it which will be a chance to improve your grades, drastically improve your grades, or spillover into bonus points or such. After you take a Long Test, what's done is done. You pass, you fail, etc. Look forward to the next LT as a chance to do better.

CAT earlier was so much fun! We had a bonding experience... in the rain... and we were marching and marching in cadence, over and over again. And while we were doing that, rain fell on our bodies. I'm not surprised if we get sick, but still, I hope I don't... Anyway, for toiling under the rain, our entire platoon got one (1) merit (yep, corresponding format:D) A few other people got demerits as well though. Vien got one for his necklace which was an accessory, and Kim also got one for being unable to march in cadence most of the time. Well, I'm sorry if I offended them... I just hope there are other ways we can get merits. There are so many ways to get demerits. How come getting merits isn't that easy?

We also had an acquaintance party in Atom Family. I was rather surprised by the huge population of this year's Atom Family. They were planning a field trip to a Coke (the drink which used to contain the drug) plant I think... must be the one in Laguna. Anyway, I had to go after that, because I had to submit my Bio notebook for partial checking. I won't have to do that anymore if I have high grades in Bio.

Earlier today, it rained so hard. Like a storm actually. Well, more like a storm/whatever you call it caused by an actual Signal 4 typhoon. The winds were so strong, and the rain was falling so hard. I remained stranded in the gazeebo, because I could not afford to get my ACET forms wet. I just waited for the rain to calm down. It was very strong, however, and it took a long time before the winds died down. But then it rained again in CAT... and you know what happened...

Anyway, I suppose the climax of this week is his reconciliation with me. Yep, you heard that right. He actually apologized to me. I was very surprised. A part of me sees this as a sign of change in him; I feel that he did that even though he knew that she wasn't there to be impressed by it. Yet I know that it is more likely that he did that because he wanted to impress her/everyone. Still, I am relieved actually. At least I don't have him as an enemy anymore... I think.

That is all for now... Tune in next time, when we discuss... what else but what I've experienced.

Ah wait... I suppose this counts as a PS. Our group in English has a total of ~165 points! Pro kami eh. There was also a bonus of 10 pts given if a member of the group has passed all quiz prior to, well, th e point in time where we got the bonus. He called it the iron man bonus or something. Anyway, go Eda and Clarisse, the reps of Gluon! And they're both of our group... Hope they best the other sections... but still, I will support Kim. He made it to the finals as well; he's one of the reps of Tau... I hope he wins, if not Eda/Cla. Go Gluon... and Kim(Tau):D

Due to incessant readers' demand (that means you, Vien) I will post again. Not that I have anything against it though. It's just that, I was, well, a bit lazy to post. So many things happened, and I might not be able to cover them all.

What I could remember vividly were my barely passing marks in physics AND chem. I didn't expect to get such a low score in chem. Probably because what I did to solve the problems was wrong. Oh well. I will have to make up for it in the future. I can't afford to get low grades in chem. The bio long test was a bit annoying due to the part where we had to count chromosomes, chromatids and stuff. I didn't know how to do that; I didn't memorize that kind of stuff. Math, on the other hand, was a bit challenging. As I struggled through the long test, I felt that I didn't have enough time to do the problems in the problem solving part. Well, I was unable to solve a lot of items in the Fill In the Blanks portion. It was the most annoying part actually. I was able to do both problems in the end. Also, I realized I forgot to discuss one of the items in the long test. There was an identification part, which was unusual because it was math. I forgot to discuss LORAN, an application of hyperbolas... Sorry...

Our meetings at Proogies were quite enjoyable. We, the seniors, were actually the noisiest in the room. Compared to us, the other years were silent. C++ was the language to be used in Proogies. The good thing about that is the simplified input/output. Even though Kuya Ivan was discussing stuff we knew (and most probably forgot) two years ago, it still was fun.

CAT was as fun as ever. And, yes, if you consider marching in cadence, sitting in two seconds with maong pants, standing up in two seconds after said feat with maong pants, and bearing the lower years who would take their time lining up for the flag retreat - if you consider all of these fun activities, you must be a masochist, or a sadist, or there is something else wrong with you, or you are plain sarcastic like me. Well, at least now I have a tickler and B/U/R pens.

After a week's respite, we have been given the next task for STR - which is actually a list of tasks. Yes, it is a play on words. I don't know for sure when this deadline is. I hope we can pass it in time.

Life Sci was interesting, as usual. We proceeded to continue on our topic, which was dreams. While it was difficult to gather data, it still was an interesting topic. Joel had another dream; this time, it was a bit like a nightmare. It was very unpleasant for him. I also found out more about his life actually. Of course, these are the sort of things that one should not disclose. I really don't know much, but still, I appreciate him sharing his dreams with me and our group.

Now, for not academic stuff. Recently I've been obsessed with the trailer for KH3, which is known not to not have KH3 as its title. I've been watching the trailer over and over again, partly because the graphics are amazing, and the sound is, well, enchanting, to the point that I have LSS for it. You can watch the high-quality version on YouTube at this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dA5bf5jG2co

There are a few things I would like to clear up. First of all, the guy who gets frozen IS NOT ROXAS. Yes, he looks like Sora/Roxas, and he used something that resembled the Kingdom Key. But HE IS NOT ROXAS. And, he is not dead. You can see his eyes move even though he's frozen. Next. The guy dressed like Riku Replica is NOT Riku Replica. Why do people even think about stories for him? The old guy summoned him. He's not a summon in the FF sense of the word (think Bahamut, Ifrit, etc.) but rather, he seems like a normal summon - uhm, a temporary magical construct brought to reality to serve its master, more like a Patronus. Yes, he can wield a Keyblade... but that may simply be because he was an extension of the old man. The blue-haired person is claimed by many to be a woman, and her name is Aqua (analogous to Kairi, sea.) There are two other names, Terra (analogous to Riku, earth/land) and Ven (analogous to Sora, sky/air), and there are 3 persons to assign them to - the person who looks like Sora/Roxas, the person with the eyes that changed into yellow, and the old man. Many claim Ven is the Sora/Roxas look-alike. The identity of the third knight is a mystery. Some say it is Terra; others say it is Xehanort (a lot of KH2:FM stuff points to this conclusion actually.) Terra is also in KH2:FM. At least, a guy called Terra was. The music for the video is called Fate of the Unknown. I like it; I've been having LSS over it for the past few days.

There are a lot of stuff that happened these past few days, actually. Stuff that I would not rather talk about. But there are also stuff that I can talk about... and that was it.

P.S. The STR unit actually has a website. It's maintained by Sir Tayco, the STR teacher of Charm, I think. It's concerned mostly with STR 1 stuff, though. The site is http://www.freewebs.com/pshsresearchunit/

First of all, sorry for not being able to post on the previous days. I was a bit down or something, and was too lazy to post. It seems like I am still too lazy to post; this post will be a bit short.

A lot of good things happened today. First of all (yes, it is redundant...) we had free periods in Physics and Chem. I was a bit thankful for that, since I don't want to know my score in that long test. It was a pity actually. I sort-of understood completely how to solve the problems given. I did not manage my time wisely, however, and I feel that I made so many mistakes that I failed. I hope not. I really need to get 1.75 above in Physics; otherwise I will not be able to make it to the Director's List. No, I am not GC; it's just that, I can't afford not to be DL since I will lose certain privileges that are important to me. Good thing the same doesn't go for Chem. I am pretty optimistic about that long test...

I also found out that I made it to Proogies!. I am very fortunate that I have been blessed with such an honor, and I will not screw it up again. I look forward to it with eager anticipation. Kim also made it to Proogies! also. I'm happy for him, and that's not sarcastic actually...

Gluon did well in soccer today against Graviton. I finally got to touch the ball at least once, and I was able to push it a distance forward just when they were making an attack. It was rather intense. In the end, it was a stalemate which was only broken by a penalty kick. So, the score was 1-0. A similar stalemate happened with the girls.

We were able to submit our capsule proposal today as well. We are rather fortunate, since some people don't have approved topics yet...

We also had an acquaintance party of sorts in Gluon. There was food... food... and more food... and did I mention food? There was sushi, pizza, 2 kinds of ice cream, spaghetti, pancit palabok or malabon (whichever, don't really know actually) and barbecue. And also 9 or so bottles of coke. We had a lot fun and ate a lot of food. There were also a lot of other non-Gluon people who came; Ma'am Cion took pity on them and let them have some food. We then had fun cleaning up the place and stuffing everything into a small cardboard box, and then throwing it in the trash can...

Other stuff that happened today include the quiz in English. We spent the period given to us by ma'am quines group-studying for the quiz. Quite unsurprisingly, none or few of the things I remember most vividly came up. I mean... the trivia stuff I remember most actually didn't come up at all. And I am still not used to super-specific questions, like "What did Achilles do when... blah blah blah happened?" Hope I did well on that quiz. I also hope that more than one of our members go to the next round (we have one guaranteed member in the next round because two of our members are pitted against each other.) Controlling 4 of the 8 spots in the quarterfinals isn't really reassuring when one of you must go...

We had a quiz of sorts in Econ, and we were to discuss issues and apply economics to them. For example, I chose to explain the necessity of CAT in terms of positive and normative economics. It's not that I needed a book...

Anyway, the real climax of this [insert adjective here] day was, well, the soccer match between Tau and Graviton. No, it wasn't because Alex scored a goal in his own goalpost. It was, well, what was happening during the match. And also what happened after it, later in the afternoon. Something just... happened; something which was significant to me. I can't really say what it is, but it is important to me...

I was expecting this to be a bit shorter. Oh well. And, I want you to know that I won't be finishing last Friday's post. I'm just too lazy to. Sorry :D

As the title of this post states, today was, yes, yet another extremely tiring day. How surprising. Well, here we arrive to the part where I talk, and talk, and talk and you listen and don't even leave a trace that you actually read this. Well, it's not really that important; on with the show.

Biology was relatively interesting. Other than that, no real comment. Filipino was a bit fun; our presentation was at least amusing. Physics was not the usual naptime, for once - we had a relatively fun game, which Clarisse had been requesting for a long time. We were given a series of statements, and we were to determine if they were true or false. Some were actually quite tricky. Still, I did learn a lot. I hope I'm ready for the long test tomorrow. I would still study a little bit, but not too much.

One of the morale boosters of the day was English. Our dreaded quiz about the first four books of the Iliad was postponed, thanks to G++. Furthermore, our group actually has the best performance of all the groups in Gluon - even among the 4 sections, I think. This was because we "won" the first task - the task/s about the Book of Job - and got about an additional 20 points. Our group also has 4 members in the next round - Eda, Jay, Clarisse (who beat me... darn...), and Lara. Go [team name]!

Life Sci was a bit interesting, though I didn't get to enjoy it much because I was busy worrying about Proogies!. Joel told me a bit about the dreams he had. He seems convinced that his dream meant something; well, I couldn't blame him, and it would be good for him if his dream motivated him somehow. Whenever I dream, I would sort of instantaneously forget whatever dream I had, like it was some kind of RAM, or volatile memory (the proper term.) Anyway, let's continue with the rest of my day.

Lunch was relatively uneventful; I had wished to review for Proogies!, but I had something else to do - cram my expenditure log. In this 7-day period (Thursday last week to Wednesday) I spent about Php 496. I'm sure a lot of you spend a lot more weekly than that. I wasn't really awake for most of Soc Sci; I was, well, extremely sleepy. No offense to Sir Job. He's not the boring kind of teacher, but still I fell asleep. I remember ma'am Docto saying something about that phenomenon - the body would spend most of its energy absorbing and distributing the nutrients from the food being digested. This means that, well, less energy would be spent keeping you conscious, making you fall asleep eventually. And that's what happened to me. Hey, I think I learned something from her...

Whatever the case was, I'm glad I got a little bit of sleep, because I was going to need it for the Chem long test. It was a bit tricky also. First of all, we were given a thought problem which tested our understanding of K. It said that it was a spontaneous reaction; therefore, K was supposed to be bigger because there was a bigger numerator. However, since the product of the rxn was a solid, it had no numerator. It was a bit tricky for me.

The other tricky part was the last one, where we were to do the usual switching-around equations and stuff to obtain the K for a net reaction. The catch was, it was is Kp, not Kc. I'm not exactly sure if the same rules work for Kp as they do for Kc, but i assumed they did not, and just converted them back and forth. I hope my solution is correct.

PE was, well, a bit fun. I only got to play a little during the "epic" match between Gluon and Charm. It was exciting; yes, I am not that good, and I only am a reserve, but still, I watched them and, well, supported them - not by making loud screams, but, well, you get the point. It was a deadlock, a stalemate, a draw - 2 0 as dulie used to say; or 0-0. The girls lost to Charm by 1 point - it was 0-1 - but still, they put up a good fight. What was even more exhausting was the fact that they faced Muon after. The guys still won, though - it was 3-1, i think. I had to go prepare for Proogies!.

This time around, Proogies! was even more exhausting. I was able to do a grand total of 0 problems. This time, the issue was my general illiteracy with Java. I was able to understand more about try/catch and exceptions, and I am glad I learned it under pressure, but still I was not able to do anything. I just hope I get 'reconsidered'; for now, I'm on the "waiting list." I was finally able to leave school late at night, by 7:00... It's the latest I've ever been for this year.

Anyway, that's all for tonight.

I didn't think I would be able to post tonight. I just crammed the math report thingy. We were assigned hyperbolas, and since they have rather limited applications, I had a hard time. Still, I hope it turns out okay. I did a bit of, well, faulty reasoning actually. I mean, it would take a lot of creativity for you to think that a coke bottle is a hyperboloid(look it up somewhere) but when you do think about it, it actually is. Same goes for hourglasses, whirlpools, and stuff. They're just... there, and when you think about them, they are hyperboloids in some way. Well, anyway, enough math. I'm tired. Have to go sleep now. Goodnight.

Today was, again, like any other normal day.

It started with a not-surprise quiz in English. I was caught off-guard because I had arrived a little late, and I didn't study a lot. Okay, I didn't really study. I do listen to Sir Args' lectures. I just don't take notes of any kind, because I feel that I don't need them. I was a bit disappointed because I was not able to pass to the next round. Oh well, at least Clarisse got to the next round. It was a bit unfair. For three straight times, our groupmates were pitted against each other. It's a bit unfair. Still, I will have next quarter - and Thursday's quiz as well - to look forward to.

We were able to pass our STR proposals - mine and Dandy's. Of course, they have not yet been approved. Yet. We are very hopeful. I hope my proposal gets accepted; well, of course the same goes for Dandy's. My proposal is, I believe, decent - it is not a simple run-of-the-mill alternative substance research, and it is doable, understandable and comprehensible by 4th year students. I hope it gets approved... It is hard to think of topics. About that... I feel a bit sorry for Kim. His group's proposals were all rejected. He feels tired and STRessed (duh, STR) and I just want him to be, well, less STRessed. Hope he gets another an idea, which the STR people would finally accept.

Physics was doable. Electric fields were not really that different as compared to forces. Relatively the same thing: vector addition. Now, we have a new hobby: counting the number of times ma'am Quines says "ok." Still, I think I fell asleep in physics again. Not really asleep; more of extremely sleepy.

I was unable to do the quiz in math; i was expecting something on hyperbolas and instead got a quiz on ellipses which i was not able to do because i misinterpreted eccentricity. Hyperbolas are ok; they're the stuff we have to research for...

Life Sci didn't really go well because we were unable to watch whatever it is we were supposed to watch. I went with Joel's group for the poster/billboard thingy. It was fun working with them, though i feel a bit out of place for now. Chem proceeded smoothly because we were given an early dismissal. Com Sci was sadly nonexistent due to the sudden blackout. Power was restored before Health, and during that time I was again extremely sleepy. I can't believe we had to memorize the name of every bone in the body... Soc Sci was also nonexistent because Sir Job wasn't there again. I was able to do the seatwork hours before and promptly enjoyed a 3:20 dismissal.

One of the highlights of this day was the listing for platoons for CAT. I am to be in the Delta platoon, along with Kim, Tobit and Jason. Good thing I'm familiar with most of my fellow platoon members. Also, I found out that another Proogies! exam would be held on Thursday. I'm not really sure if I can make the cut. I feel like I've lost my interest, actually. With my minuscule knowledge of Java and C++, I'm not sure I can make the cut. Still, I would be glad if I did. I have equipped myself with knowledge of arrays now, and a little bit of input/output, and a little on exceptions. I will still try to do the best I can.

I think that's all for today. The original idea for this post was a bulleted list of the things I could/should/would tell Castro when I do confront him. Let's just do that for another time...

Today started like any other normal (mon)day. We had a flag cem, and stuff like that. It's not really my thing to go talk about all the stuff that happened. So, I'm just going to talk about the important parts.

I'm glad to see I've been doing rather well in Physics and Chem. I could understand how the solutions and computations are done; not really surprising because it's that simple. I've done good in a quiz and stuff like that... Things are looking good... for now.

I've been dealing with STR quite well recently, because now I have a topic. It may or may not be intel-worthy, but it doesn't really matter to me. Of course, it's not yet approved, but, well... I hope it is. It really is a good idea, if I may say so myself. The problem is, I may not be able to think of anything else if it is not accepted. If you really want to know, my idea is to test the anti-cancer properties of a chemical on different kinds of tumor cells. It might sound a bit plain, but it really is an experimental cure for cancer. It has been shown to have effects on breast cancer and a few others. We plan to test on more kinds of cancers, and to see if it affects them in the same positive way (that is, if it kills the cells.) This is different from curing the entire tumor/s, because it might not be enough. It might only cause the tumor to shrink or something like that. Still, at least our research isn't a simple alternative substance crap.

PE was tiring and exhausting. We played without Max and got 3-1. I feel that I let him and the team down. It really was tiring; I feel like I was being stretched all over the place. He was a bit sad/depressed... I just hope we can have fun, and win, the next match. Soccer is fun, yes, but still, it hurts a little when you lose. Even more so when you feel it's your fault.

Finally, the last issue at hand is him. I plan to have a serious conversation with him sometime in the future. I don't know what I should say; I don't even know if he would listen or notice me. Still, it must be done sometime, somehow.

Please, feel free to comment. If only I had a f'n tagboard...

See title. It's actually very frustrating really. I can't even put my f'n tagboard in this f'n thing. What the hell is XML anyway? It keeps saying. "element (whatever) must have corresponding ending tag" crap. Really annoying. This layout is nice, but why can't i put my tagboard here...? crap... please help. but then again, since i have no tagboard, i can't receive anything... this really sucks.